Вкурить1х02, The HarvestBuffy: Well, I gotta look on the bright side. Maybe I can still get kicked out of school.
Xander: Oh, yeah, that's a plan. Cause lots of schools aren't on Hellmouths.
Willow: Maybe you could blow something up. They're really strict about that.
Buffy: I was thinking of a more subtle approach, ya know, like excessive not studying.
Giles: [to himself as the others are walking away] The Earth is doomed.
1x04, Teacher's PetGiles: This computer invasion that Willow's performing on the coroner's office... One assumes it is entirely legal?
Buffy: [in unison] Of course.
Willow: [in unison] Entirely.
Giles: Right. Wasn't here. Didn't see it. Couldn't have stopped you.
1x05, Never Kill a Boy on the First DateWillow: Buffy has a really important date.
Buffy: Owen!
Giles: All right, I-I'll just jump in my time machine, go back to the twelfth century and ask the vampires to postpone their ancient prophecy for a few days while you take in dinner and a show.
Buffy: Okay, at this point you're abusing sarcasm.
1x08, I, Robot... You, JaneGiles: I'm just going to stay and clean up a little. I'll be back in the Middle Ages.
Jenny: Did you ever leave?
2x07, Lie to meGiles: I believe that's called growing up.
Buffy: Then I'd like to stop, okay?
Giles: I know the feeling.
Buffy: Does it ever get easy?
Giles: You mean life?
Buffy: Yeah. Does it get easy?
Giles: What do you want me to say?
Buffy: Lie to me.
Giles: Yes, it's terribly simple. The good guys are always stalwart and true, the bad guys are easily distinguished by their pointy horns or black hats, and, uh, we always defeat them and save the day. No one ever dies, and everybody lives happily ever after.
Buffy: Liar.
2x11, TedBuffy: [about Ted] So far, all I see is someone who supposedly has a good job, and is nice and polite, and my mother really likes him.
Xander: What kind of a monster is he?
3x06, Band CandyAngel: It's late. How'd you get away?
Buffy: Aw, it was easy. Started a fire in the prison laundry room. Rode out in the garbage truck.
Angel: Oh.
Buffy: I'm joking. No garbage. Smell me.
--
Ms. Barton: Hey! We're all stuck here, okay? So now let's just sit quietly and, and pretend we're reading something until we're really sure that old Commandant Snyder's gone. Then we're all outta here!
Xander: Does anyone else wanna marry Ms. Barton?
Cordelia: Get in line.
--
Buffy: Yeah, we can go home. I've got the SAT's tomorrow.
Joyce: Oh, blow them off. I'll write you a note.
3x14, Bad GirlsBuffy: New Watcher?
Giles: New Watcher.
Wesley: Wesley Wyndam-Pryce, it's very nice to meet you.
Buffy: Is he evil?
Wesley: Evil?
Buffy: The last one was evil.
Wesley: Oh yes, Gwendolyn Post, we all heard. No, Mr. Giles has checked my credentials ... rather thoroughly, phoned the Council. But I'm glad to see you're on the ball as well. A good Slayer is a cautious Slayer.
Buffy: Is he evil?
Giles: Not in the strictest sense.
--
Wesley: Ah, this is perhaps Faith.
Faith: New Watcher?
Buffy, Giles: New Watcher.
Faith: Screw that. [she turns and leaves]
Buffy: Now why didn't I just say that?
3x17, EnemiesWesley: And you say this demon wanted cash? That's very unusual.
Giles: Demons after money. Whatever happened to the still beating heart of a virgin? No one has any standards anymore.
--
Buffy: I know this. It's down by the bus station. Not the nicest part of town.
Giles: Again. See, no standards. I mean, any self-respecting demon should be living in a pit of filth or a nice crypt.
3x22, Graduation Day, Part TwoMayor Wilkins: Well, what a day this is! Special day. Today is our centennial, the one-hundredth anniversary of the founding of Sunnydale, and I know what that mean to all you kids: not a darn thing. Because today something much more important happens. Today you all graduate from high school. Today all the pain, all the work, all the excitement is finally over. And what's a hundred years of history compared to that? You know what, kids?
Buffy: Oh my God. He's going to do the entire speech.
Willow: Man, just ascend already.
Buffy: Evil!
4x02, Living ConditionsWillow: [on the phone with Rupert Giles] Giles, I just talked to Buffy and, yeah, I think she's feeling a little... insane. [pause] No, not bitchy crazy, more like... homicidal maniac crazy. So I told her to come see you, OK?
4x11, DoomedGiles: It's the end of the world.
Buffy, Willow, Xander: Again?
4x20, The Yoko FactorXander: You and Willow go do the superpower thing. I'll stay behind and putter around the bat cave with crusty old Alfred here.
Giles: Ah, no. I am no Alfred, sir. No, you forget. Alfred had a job.
5x05, No Place Like HomeBig Vampire: I've always wanted to kill the Slayer.
Buffy: And I've always wanted piano lessons. So really... who's surprised we've got this unexpressed rage? But honestly, I think I express mine better. Tell you what... you find yourself a good anger management class, and I'll jam this pokey wood stick through your heart.
--
Buffy: What are you doing here? [Spike begins to answer] Five words or less.
Spike: [Pauses, then, counting on his fingers] Out... for... a... walk... bitch.
5x07, Fool For LoveXander: [re: Riley’s commando hand movements] What's with the hand move? D’you see that? Does that, like, mean somethin’?
Willow: It's code. I think it breaks down to "choo-choo" [mimics pulling a train whistle]
Anya: It probably means to follow him. That, or wait here for him.
Xander: Hey Riley! What's the [Mimics gesture] all about?
Riley: It means yell real loud, so the vampires who don't know we're coming will have a sporting chance.
5x13, Blood TiesBuffy: How was school today?
Dawn: The usual, big square building filled with boredom and despair.
Buffy: Just how I remember it.
5x22, The GiftXander: Why blood? Why Dawn's blood? Why couldn't it be like a-a lymph ritual or something?
Spike: 'Cause it's always got to be blood.
Xander: We're not actually discussing dinner right now.
Spike: Blood is life, lackbrain. Why do you think we eat it? It's what keeps you going. Makes you warm. Makes you hard. Makes you other than dead. 'Course it's her blood.
--
Buffy: Dawn, listen to me, listen. I love you. I will always love you. But this is the work that I have to do. Tell Giles… tell Giles I figured it out. And, and I'm okay. And give my love to my friends. You have to take care of them now. You have to take care of each other. Dawn, the hardest thing in this world… is to live in it. Be brave. Live… for me.
6x01, Bargaining, Part OneGiles: [Out of breath] I'm fine. I just need to die for a minute.
--
Giles: [sadly] I just can't help but wonder if... she would have been better off without me. Buffy.
Buffybot: I don't think that's true. You were very helpful to her.
Giles: [laughs bitterly] Right. Yes, I was a perfect Watcher. I did what any good Watcher would do - got my Slayer killed in the line of duty.
Buffybot: Oh, that wasn't your fault.
Giles: Of course not. That's how all Slayer-Watcher relationships end, isn't it? She's gone. I did my job.
6x03, After Life[Willow has called Giles to tell him about Buffy's resurrection.]
Tara: Did you get through to London?
Willow: Yeah. He's gonna head back as soon as he can. I'm not sure, like maybe a couple days.
Tara: How did he take it?
Willow: Um, I'm not sure. I mean... glad, but kinda weirded out? Which I get, you know. Lots of "Dear Lords". And I think I actually heard him clean his glasses.
--
Spike: Well, I haven't been to a hell dimension just of late, but I do know a thing or two about torment.
Buffy: [looking down] I was happy.
[Spike stares at her, confused and shocked]
Buffy: Wherever I ... was ... I was happy. At peace. I knew that everyone I cared about was all right. I knew it. Time ... didn't mean anything ... nothing had form ... but I was still me, you know? And I was warm ... and I was loved ... and I was finished. Complete. I don't understand about theology or dimensions, or ... any of it, really ... but I think I was in heaven. And now I'm not. [near tears] I was torn out of there. Pulled out ... by my friends. Everything here is ... hard, and bright, and violent. Everything I feel, everything I touch ... this is hell. Just getting through the next moment, and the one after that ... knowing what I've lost... [pause] They can never know. Never.
6x06, All The Way[Xander has announced his engagement to Anya; the two are kissing with uncomfortable intensity.]
Buffy: [softly] Did you know about this?
Giles: No. Unless I blocked it from my memory, much as I will Xander's vigorous use of his tongue.
[Giles takes off his glasses and cleans them on his shirt]
Buffy: [shocked] Is that why you're always cleaning your glasses? So you won't have to see what we're doing?
Giles: Tell no one.
6x07, Once More, With FeelingDawn: [excited] Oh my God. You will never believe what happened at school today.
Buffy: Everybody started singing and dancing?
Dawn: [pauses, deflating] I gave birth to a pterodactyl.
Anya: Oh my God, did it sing?
--
Buffy: So, Dawn's in trouble... must be Tuesday.
--
Spike: You should go back inside. Finish the big group sing. Get your kumbaya-yas out.
Buffy: I don't want to.
Spike: The day you suss out what you do want, there'll probably be a parade. Seventy-six bloody trombones.
6x08, Tabula RasaGiles: We'll all get our memory back, and it'll all be right as rain.
Spike: Oh, listen to Mary Poppins. He's got his crust all stiff and upper with that nancy-boy accent. You Englishmen are always so... Bloody hell! Sodding, blimey, shagging, knickers, bollocks, oh God! I'm English!
Giles: Welcome to the nancy tribe.
Spike: You don't suppose you and I... we're not related, are we?
Anya: There is a ruggedly handsome resemblance.
Giles: And you do inspire a, um... particular feeling of... familiarity and... disappointment. Older brother?
Spike: Father. Oh, god, how I must hate you.
Giles: What did I do?
--
Anya: Rupert.
Spike: Rupert!
Giles: You're not too old to put across my knee, you know... sonny. Anyway, what did I call you?
Spike: Um... 'Made with care for Randy.' Randy Giles? Why not just call me 'Horny Giles,' or 'Desperate for a Shag Giles'? I knew there was a reason I hated you!
7x17, Lies My Parents Told MeBuffy: Maybe you're right. Maybe everything is fine.
Giles: Everything's terrible. Total catastrophe.
Buffy: Giles, what's wrong?
Giles: Have you seen the new library? There's nothing but computers. There's not a book to be seen. I - I don't know where to begin, Buffy. I mean, who do we speak to?
Robin: Uh, that would - that would be me. Hi. I'm Robin Wood.
Giles: Oh, sorry. Rupert Giles. Sorry. Buffy tells me you're something of a freelance demon fighter. [Robin closes door] Oh, yes, yes. I, um, I'm relieved. We're running dangerously low on allies.
Buffy: So, we didn't stop it, then?
Giles: Uh, no, the seers at the coven are certain the First is continuing to gather its forces. I'm afraid war is inevitable. [regarding the library] So, we should go before the school board.
7x22, ChosenBuffy: So, what do you guys wanna do tomorrow?
Willow: Nothing strenuous.
Xander: Well, mini-golf is always the first thing that comes to mind.
Giles: I think we can do better than that.
Buffy: I was thinking about shopping. As per usual.
Willow: Oh. There's an Arden B. in the new mall.
Xander: Oh, good. I could use a few items.
Giles: Well, now aren't we gonna discuss this? Save the world or go to the mall?
Buffy: I'm having a wicked shoe craving.
Xander: Aren't you on the patch?
Willow: Those never work.
Buffy: Never.
Giles: And here I am, invisible to the eye, not having any vote.
Xander: See, I need a new look. It's this whole eye patch thing.
Buffy: Oh, you could go with full black secret agent look.
Willow: Or the puffy shirt, pirate slash...
Giles: The Earth is definitely doomed.
--
Faith: Looks like the Hellmouth is officially closed for business.
Giles: There's another one in Cleveland. [everyone stares] Not to spoil the moment.
Xander: We saved the world.
Willow: We changed the world. I can feel them, Buffy. All over. Slayers are awakening everywhere.
Dawn: We'll have to find them.
Willow: We will.
Giles: Yes, because the mall was actually in Sunnydale, so there's no hope of going there tomorrow.
Dawn: We destroyed the mall? I fought on the wrong side.
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